Sunday, November 20, 2022
Step Back
Have you ever took a step back for a minute to wonder what are you doing with your life. I believe I have couple of times but never took it to consideration of what to do next. Not until last year when I lost my step father he was only 68. We never was on the same page (butting heads). I don't mean this to be a sad blog or for you to feel sorry for me but kind of want you to open your eyes. I just turned 42 that year. Two days later I get a phone call from my mom saying he wasn't feeling good and she was driving him to the hospital. She had also asked me to come keep her company so she wasn't alone. It was like she knew something was up cause this was the first time she had asked me to come to the hospital. They have gone there many of times and they would be out within the hour with medication in hand. As I was making my way down to the hospital (2 exit away) my phone was ringing, it was mom. She's crying saying he's gone. I was like "what do you mean he's gone". That's all she could say and was repeating herself, "he's gone he's gone". My mom had one more year to retire with her husband. She was a single mother raising 2 kids. I was 11 when my parents divorce. She did all that hard work and now she's doesn't have her husband. So from that day I took a step back and looked at my life and asked myself, "what am I doing"? All I am doing is working hard and going to school. Yes we all still need a job to pay bill but if you cant enjoy life with your other half or the special people in your life are you really living life? So I've decided to scale back a little bit and enjoy what life has to offer. I've been going to concerts, Raider games, VGK games, and surrounding myself with the people that makes me happy. Yes I will still work all of my jobs and finish my school but also will make time for the people in my life. What I saw when I took a step back is that tomorrow is not a guarantee but you can always look forward to tomorrow, cause when you wake up you know you have another day. Make the best of your life, take a step back and evaluate your life. It took me 42 years to do it, I wish I would of done it sooner.
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Very poignant reflection, thank you for sharing Brian!
ReplyDeleteI hope your mom is doing better now.
Excellent advice in your final sentence :-)
My friend! No matter what others think of you, you are a successful person in my eyes. You let me know the importance and urgency of learning! Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteMy exact thoughts! When my mother passed away, I was going through my own personal things. The events in my life did not stop me from pushing forward with my goals. Time is just a human construct. What you value with your time, will always be up to you. Spending time with the people you value is the most important goal of life, regardless of circumstance. We only get one life, there is no second practice. Make this life your best life ever!
ReplyDeleteTomorrow is definitely not guaranteed. When I pray at night, I always thank God for the simple blessing of waking up and eating and living life. This actually just reminded me of a song "External Sunshine" by Jhene Aiko and now I'm trying not to be sad myself !! Sending my thoughts and condolences to your mom & family for continuous healing and happiness in life :)
ReplyDeleteMy condolences to you and your family on the loss of your step-father. I know all too well how painful that is. It's true, taking a step back to reflect on what you've done is necessary from time to time. Looking forward to see what's next can be difficult but manageable. Taking advantage of life's moments, making memories is all that's left.
ReplyDeleteIt took me 5 years from ending my active duty service in the U.S. Navy in 2016 to realized I needed to go to school. I did not want to wind up like these other security guards in their mid 40s and above working for $17hr for the rest of their life at that maybe less depending on the company. I seriously doubt I would be able to purchase and pay off a home at that pay rate. I decided to go the college route and enrolled in CSN in 2022 Spring Semester to bolster myself into a better job outlook. Also, its a safer environment working in an office from what I've read online instead of mock police serving the public transit system.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry for your loss. Making time for yourself and your family is a must because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I liked the quote you added.
ReplyDeleteThe end to your post was powerful. "...but also will make time for the people in my life" and don't forget to include yourself too, Brian. Aren't concerts great?
ReplyDelete"tomorrow is not a guarantee but you can always look forward to tomorrow, cause when you wake up you know you have another day." Brian thank you for opening up and sharing this part of yourself with us. Its time that I took the time to take a step back and evaluate and then make an action on those evaluations.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences to you and your family. Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone. We all take life for granted and it is not till something happens that we ask why? Taking the time for yourself and your family is very important. I know you are doing the right thing and you will stay focussed on everything you do. I wish you a bright future for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLook at you living your best life! It's never to late too reprioritize things in life. Money can always be earned, but people will not always be around as tomorrow is never promised to us. I'm glad to see you balancing out your work and play.
ReplyDeleteI'm going back to those times where I truly smiled for a purpose after reading your message. We have to find a way to enjoy life and not simply work and go to school, as you suggested. We must look for a purpose in life.
ReplyDelete